Taste the rainbow. Be the rainbow?

For most of my life I have assumed I was a heterosexual cis woman.  I was to be a "girl" and get married to a man and have kids and be happy.  Growing up Southern Baptist in Texas raised by Republicans that was really the only option I thought I had.  I was as devout a Christian as a kid can be.  I told gay jokes and pulled the Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve bullshit.  It was how I was raised and I embraced it because that's what you did. 

As I have gotten older a lot of things have changed.  My eyes have been opened to more than just male and female.  More than just heterosexual and homosexual. There's a big range of things that a person can be.  I never felt like I fit into the binary world that had been presented to me.  The problem is that even with this multichromatic life I have been shown, I'm still not sure where I fit in. 

This is what I know about myself.  I feel more comfortable in men's clothing but I don't feel like I was born in the wrong body.  I've always known I was a woman and I am okay with that.  As a matter of fact, there's only once a month that I would really rather have a penis and I'm sure you can guess the reasons for that.  I used to have a huge problem with people that wanted a sex change or considered themselves to be in the wrong body but that was my upbringing and I have since opened my mind.  But, as I was saying, I don't feel like I was born in the wrong body but I feel like I was made for the wrong clothes.  Men's clothing is more comfortable, and easier for me to work in.  I have a hard time finding women's clothing that fits me properly or that I feel good in.  I also know that whenever I have dreams, I am a man.  That's always the case.  In all the dreams that I actually remember, I've only ever been a woman one time.  The rest I have been a man.  I don't know what that means exactly.  And then there's the fact that I have been told that I am very good at writing gay porn for someone that's never had a penis.

I appreciate beauty and can even identify people as being "hot" but I find that I am not actually physically attracted to any one specific person.  Of the men that I have slept with only one would actually be considered attractive by a large group of people.  When I say "sexy is an attitude" I genuinely mean it.  I've been with men that managed to turn me on even though there was no real physical attraction to them.  And I don't just find men aesthetically pleasing.  I look at women and think "Damn she's hot" but I don't want to sleep with women.  I truly appreciate boobs.  I would play with Kat Dennings' boobs if she'd let me and it would be completely nonsexual.  I do have sexual desires but they're not attached to any one specific person and I honestly can't really think about having actual sex with a person.  The idea turns me off, really.

I look at men like Chris Evans and honestly think "I bet he gives great hugs."  While other women look at him and think about tying him down and having their way with him.  The only remotely sexual thing that I even imagine doing to him is licking chocolate sauce from his abs and I don't even know why I want to do that.  Seriously.

I form more emotional attachments to fictional characters and, more correctly, cars than I do to actual people.  Watching Baby get smashed to bits hurt me more than seeing Dean laying dead in Sam's arms.  No lie.  And I feel more sympathy for the Tardis than I ever did for the Doctor.  I look at older cars and see these amazingly beautiful things that are practically art.  I look at a person that is considered to be attractive and I just see someone that's good looking.  There's no real desire to have sex with them.  And I say them because I am talking about both men and women.

There are all kinds of labels out there now.  Lots of things that you can consider yourself.  And I'm still not entirely sure what the hell any of that has to do with me.  How I fit in to any of this.  I guess I'm just looking for a little bit of help in figuring things out.  Because after nearly 37 years of being alive and thinking about who I am as a person, I still have no fucking clue.  

Tallywackers

I feel like Tallywackers needs a decent review rather than just saying "On hey it's good" and leaving it at that.

It was a Wednesday night and there was a half an hour wait for three people.  My mom, daughter, and I went tonight and it was busy.  ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT.  That says something.  Though our waiter and I agree that part of it was probably the novelty of the place.  It has only been open for about a month.  And that business might die down a little once it's been there longer but we're both hoping it doesn't.

That was our waiter.  His name is Geraldo and he's very nice.  And it's not waiter nice, either.  He's genuinely a nice guy.  We nicknamed him Mackie, though I think he fits Fresh Prince a bit more.  Normally, they take their shirts off for pictures but Kaitlynne asked that they keep their shirts on.  She also got pictures with one guy that we call Captain America.  

And another guy that we called Alcide.  

Kaitlynne kept smelling her shoulder after that picture because some of his cologne rubbed off on her and it smelled nice.  It was kind of adorable.  We gave a few other nicknames out but these were the only ones she actually wanted pictures with.  

The restaurant was a bit noisy but it was full of people talking and have a good time so noise was to be expected.  They had great music and some videos playing on the TVs that were pretty cool.  Sometimes the music matched the videos and sometimes it didn't but it was still cool.  

Now, onto the food.  It was amazing.  I got the rigatoni pasta which had braised beef and mushrooms and spinach and cherry tomatoes and Parmesan cheese.  I asked for no tomatoes and it came with it anyway, but they were easy to pick out so it wasn't a big deal.  Now, you have to understand that I am a ridiculously picky eater.  Not only because of my tastes but also because of certain issues that I have that make it hard for me to find food that I actually CAN eat.  So it's hard for me to find restaurant pasta that's actually edible for me.  Especially since they don't always cook the pasta right.  This was not the case with Tallywackers pasta.  It was the perfect tenderness, and the meat was so soft I almost didn't have to chew it.  The whole meal was very enjoyable and I ate every bite, which is rare for me, especially these days.  

Kaitlynne got the Croque Monsieur which she loved.  She didn't finish it, though, because it had EIGHT LAYERS of ham on it.  And their french fries are pretty amazing.  The sandwich just looked really good.  

My mom got the "Bobby Duke" chicken fried stake.  It came with mashed potatoes and green beans.  The green beans were so covered in garlic that they were actually spicy and they were fresh green beans which is kind of awesome.  The steak was a decent size.  Big enough that my mom couldn't finish it.  It looked really good, though.  

My only real complaint about the place is that the only iced tea they have is mango flavored and I don't really like mango.  And they don't have root beer.  But most of the time I drink water anyway so it was okay.  And the water was good, not typical Dallas tap water.

I definitely look forward to going back to Tallywackers at some point.  They offer free valet parking, but the valets do work for tips.  I gave ours a $9 tip, though most people were giving them one or two, which irritated me.  Doing business with someone that also works for tips has advantages for sure.  

Over all, I highly recommend it.  The waiters are a large variety of guys that cater to pretty much every taste.  And there weren't just women and gay guys there, either.  It was a nice mix of clientele. 

If you find yourself in Dallas, stop by Tallywackers.  As far as the good goes, you definitely get what you pay for, and the ambiance is very enjoyable.  

And no, I did not get paid to write this review.       

Grammar Sucks Sometimes Part 2

I've been doing more thinking about how hard the English language is and have come up with a few more examples, though this time the list isn't quite as long as the first one.

I took it as a compliment that he said we complement each other. 

They decided to have tea before time to tee off.

He told a lie about the lye and I had to lie down. 

I watched her sink down in the chair after putting the dishes in the sink.

The bird flew up the flue while I had the flu. 

I had to use my shoe to shoo the dog away. 

The waist of the skirt could not be fixed.  What a waste. 

The principle reason for the new principal was a lack of principles. 

My aunt is allergic to ants.  (This is only a problem in the south lol)

I shall bear witness to the fact that the bear was bare. 

The hair of the heir seemed lighter than air. 

Words that I couldn't fit into sentences.  

bred/bread

LLAP

I've actually been thinking about whether or not I was going to do this and I decided that I would.

There have been a lot of celebrity deaths in the first two months of 2015.  Though I don't think there have been any more this year than in previous years.  The thing is, I'm starting to recognize more and more of the names.  They're starting to be people that I grew up watching on TV, or in movies.  People that I have admired for most of my life.  Names that make me a little sad.  The same can be said for 2014, in all honesty.  I recognized a LOT of those names as well.  I haven't really done posts for any of them because I didn't feel like I had all that much to say.  Even Harold Ramis who played one of my favorite movie characters of all time.  Egon Spengler will forever live in my heart.  But that's not why I'm posting today.

I'm posting because of Leonard Nimoy.

I grew up watching reruns of Star Trek with my family.  It was the first science fiction that I was really engrossed in.  The original Star Trek series was something that I would actually hunt for in the TV guide.  I actually sat down and created a list of the things that happened in every single episode with just a few exceptions.  There's a part of me that always connected with Spock because he didn't always get the joke.  While he managed to say "That's illogical" in some form or another in every episode, he was not illogical to me.  And the fact that McCoy kept making fun of him on a regular basis and he didn't let it bother him spoke to me.  I was reading a lot of things into the character that probably weren't even there, but that's how I interpreted it.  Spock was highly intelligent and could make a joke every now and then even if he didn't always get the funny.  The character just spoke to me.  I'll be honest that I haven't watched the show in a while and I'm probably not remembering things as clearly as I would have a few years ago, but that's what I do remember about the show and the movies.  Spock was my favorite character and I felt like I could connect to him.  Like if I could pick anyone of the cast to just hang out with, it would be him.  And that is because of the wonderful acting talents of Mr. Nimoy.  The writing only goes so far in creating a character.  They're just words on a page that could be put in front of anyone.  But the actor is who brings the character to life.  Who makes them a real person, in a way.  And Leonard Nimoy was brilliant.  

Star Trek has been a part of my life longer than even Doctor Who and definitely longer than Star Wars.  Spock has been a member of the family for all this time.  My dad watches the western channel on a regular basis and Leonard pops up there every now and then as well.  He had a pretty extensive career, though Spock was his most famous.  He was on Dragnet and Mission: Impossible both of which I watched as reruns.  And he was also the voice of King Kashekim Nedakh.  His career goes all the way back to 1951 and has been full and varied.  

There was a twitter post that said that every geek just lost their favorite grandfather and that's not wrong.  I realize that this isn't as eloquent or heart felt as some of the other posts about Mr. Nimoy, but that's just because I have a hard time putting my feelings into words when it comes to someone I actually admired and cared about.  At least as much as you can care about someone you've never actually met.  He will always be remembered as one of my favorite actors and Spock will always be one of my favorite fictional characters.  

@edwardnorton and the jar of hotness

So today's Jar of Hotness name is Edward Norton.  Not only is he a talented actor but he's also very good looking.  Though I have to admit, I prefer him in his comedic roles like the various Wes Anderson movies that he's done.  He's got an over all talent, though.

He doesn't always have such a nice body but everyone is allowed a break from the gym.  

There also aren't many men that can pull off that kind of mustache, but Edward definitely can.  

And he looks good in a "boyscout" uniform.  That's a rare quality for an adult as well.  

So you have your eye candy for today.  Mr. Edward Norton.  Enjoy.  

Grammar sucks sometimes

I have randomly been thinking about a lot of different words so I am going to make a list of sentences that help prove why English is so hard to learn, even for native speakers.



The lead actor's footsteps were like lead as I led him off the stage.

The tear in the dress made me tear up and because it was torn she teared up as well.

He was close to the clothes and asked me to close the door, then bring him the cloths.

We're wondering where you were and did you wear that dress.  

I told him to read the paper so he read it and corrected it with red pen.

The costumer was a great customer.

They're going to their house over there.

You're going to go to your room.

Those pants look loose.  Did you lose weight?

Are those two going to the store too?

Do you have an apple that we could halve for them to share?

John was too sore to get on the glider and soar.

Our plan is in an hour.

The price of that fare just doesn't seem fair to me.

The cough was tough but he got through the rough patch because his doctor was thorough.

I threw the ball through the window.

Due to the dew on the grass we can't finish our to do list.

I had to raze the old building in order to raise a new one on that plot.

The bass in the music seemed to attract a lot of bass to our fishing base.

We had to wind the ropes tighter because of the wind that was coming.

The bow on her dress made it hard for her to bow.    

John at his cereal as he read the serial in the newspaper.

She had to let her ankle heal after a broken heel caused a sprain.

The steel sculpture proved almost impossible to steal.

I find it very hard to accept anything except the truth.


That's just 25 examples.  There are so many more.

feet/feat
peek/peak
pray/prey
way/whey
or/oar
for/fore/four
lightning/lightening
way/weigh
wait/weight


The list goes on and on.  And let's not forget that some of these words are homographs and some are homophones making pretty much all of them homonyms depending on who you ask.

And let's not forget:

I before E except after C or in sounding like "A" in neighbor and weigh unless it's weird or science.  

There are rules, there are exceptions to the rules and then there are exceptions to the exceptions to the rules.  It's really no wonder it's so hard to learn.    

The Return of the Jar of Hotness

This is something that I actually started on another blog but that blog has fallen to the wayside.  I also, kind of, maybe, lost the Jar of Hotness on my desk that my daughter has deemed "The Land of No Return."   Well, she's wrong because something has been returned to me.  So here's how the Jar of Hotness works.  I have a jar that has a bunch of names of hot celebrities in it.  Whenever I feel like doing so, I will draw a name from the Jar of Hotness and then proceed to gush about said celebrity.

And today's celebrity is......  *insert drum roll here*

James McAvoy

First of all, look at those gorgeous blue eyes.  I could stare at them all day long.   

It's really hard not to just fall into those eyes.  They're gorgeous.  

And then there's his adorable smile.  He has one of the best smiles out there, really.  It's not absolutely perfect and that's one of the things I love about it.  

And added to all of that beauty is the fact that he really is a wonderful actor.  He's very talented.  Almost sickeningly so.  

But the most wonderful icing on this fantastic cake is the fact that he's Scottish.  I am a sucker for that accent.  So you have a gorgeous man who is extremely talented and throw a Scottish accent on top of it.  Ugh, it kills me, really it does.  

And that is my incoherent, fangirly babbling about James McAvoy.